Donkey leads the Lions © fintag

Just as I thought the UK general election campaigning had started 6 months ago, we are told it starts today.

HM the Queen, in her ever diminishing role has allowed 11 previous Prime Ministers to call an election and the current unelected PM is being granted permission to do so. While she lives forever, the political landscape changes. In the old days political electioneering was not allowed until an election was called but given the Labour party's disregard for protocol and spending my taxes on slander and poster campaigns, times have changed. Time for a change then.

Upshot? 6 weeks of volatility. Hung parliament? Previously unheard of gossip? Tony Blair investigated for tax avoidance? Blair Castle to host a facebook party? Cherie Blair sets fire to her nightie? Strikes galore? The 24% of income tax that is paid by the 1% who pay tax at 50p all decide to defer their income for a couple of years? Katie Price hands back her silicon to improve her tv ratings (beating up OAPs doesn't seem sufficient)?

The blonde with the Marni coat and black shiny patent leathershoes, LV handbag and platinum wedding ring is clutching her blackberry tightly. Today she and her partner are donating another 10p of tax. I of course have deferred my dividends and partnership profits until after the election.

You see earning income is so last year. Today its cash only, foreign registration plates and hugging strangers on the underground.

Thankfully the blonde (which is not really her color) has laughed and told me she is an undercover underground cop and promptly tried to swipe my oyster card which I don't have (cash only) but its neither here or there.