Lying on my picnic blanket © fintag

Sorry © fintag

Today's shorts:
Lord Peter to shoot Brown (telegraph)
Jordan fails to Win (telegraph)
BP: Oil to rise in price (bloomberg)
High earners to be hung (cityam)
United Continental (independent)

Today's longs:
Blackstone hire morons (emii)
Greece get credit card limit increase (bloomberg)

News comments:
Another fine weekend of sun, rain and gloves. This didn't stop me having a picnic in Hyde Park with my hareem, though, where we ate humble pie and enjoyed reading that the odds of Labour winning on Tuesday are 25/1 and Alan Johnson is related to Boris. So will next weekend be the 2Cs? Or perhaps a LLMU? All will be revealed. For sure, unelected and un-MP'd Lord Peter will be the new leader of the new branded old Labour party and from 1am on Friday will all be having fun trading gilts.

Greece has been bailed out and the Germans are shitting themselves that Portugal, Italy and Spain are next. So tell me, if PIS have contributed to bailing out Greece, will they have to contribute to bailing themselves out?

Is it me or am I a time traveler? Like Dr Who I seem to know what is going to happen but never act on it. He finds himself in front of the daleks and battles them as if her was living for the moment. The markets are living for the moment, enjoying the benefits of increasing corporate profits and falling bond volatility. But this is wrong.

Most developed countries are in big doo doo. Really big doo doo. I know that, you know that, but we have had enough of grim times so let us pretend it doesn't exist. Denial is a panacea for depressing times.

I know that David Cameron will win the UK election with a nice majority. George Osbourne with survive a year as Chancellor before private life indiscretions force him out of office. Lord Brown will be sectioned, Scotland annexed from England and all foreign lorries forced to pay a pound a mile on UK roads.

Gossip:
SEC to drop case against Goldman Sachs. [Only kidding ...]