James Bond Russian Rolex © fintag

News comments:
So the EU has closed its doors to the US hedge fund industry. The dreaded AIFM or EU Directive has been agreed ready for rubber stamping and its not good. (ft)

As with all red tape, its the detail that matters. Just as I discovered that James Bond's Rolex watch is not the model the pundits previously thought it was (thanks to HD TV), the AIFM will be more draconian than what seems right now.

Private Equity will no longer be private. It will soon be called Public Equity.

US Hedge Funds will have to put up capital and will not be allowed to use their GP / Fund structure model due to conflicts.

The upshot is, along with UCITS IV, we shall be able to set up Hedge Fund managers in Greece and market our products to the UK and thus bypass that red tape beast called the FSA.

The downer is the US will start a trade war and not allow Europeans access to the US market. Which is probably a good thing because the last time Europeans got excited over a US manager, Mr Madoff threw in the towel.

Torch the torch © fintag

News comments:
Many column inches, tweets, spins and spans but the reality is the UK's Big Savings day was a big let down. In an attempt to pretend to make lots of cuts in the future, there is a hope that growth and inflation will drown out the unemployment, misery and social destruction.

The coalition is a quasi hippy liberal blairite government. It says NO to welfare scroungers, tax evaders and the pedlars of red tape and YES to more railways, Obama roads and bridges and science students.

The real opportunities missed were:

Putting Rupert Murdoch onto the board of BBC trustees with a remit to wind it up so we end up with a website and BBC1 and BBC News 24.

Slashing the NHS; putting in a proper constitution stating what its purpose is.

Providing more funds tothe police to teach them how to walk and keep peace in the ever increasing violent streets where prisons are closed down and welfare hard to come by.

Giving the banks tax breaks to encourage them to hire more people in the UK. All this bull about the banks costing the UK - the coalition should be privatizing RBS and Lloyds and making a stock market killing.

And so on. I feel depressed now. Even more after playing with my new Blackberry torch and having to send it back. No wonder Steve Jobs is laughing. Low screen res, a slider that needs two hands to open and more clicks than ever before. "Open Tray" - I mean what is that all about?

RIM have lost it. They should outsource their product to Apple.

Gossip:
15 banks to leave the UK by 2012

© fintag

News comments:
So my small contribution to forcing GAP to go back to its original logo paid off. Shame such antics can't stop the QE party which has to end, it really does. We are all on the edge of unemployment, suicide and having to shop at Primark so why not just face the pain?

Here is some other news:

Today's shorts:
Yahoo: What is it good for? (bloomberg)
UK Housing: Not for profit (telegraph)
AIFM: Red tapers more useless than first thought (wall street journal)

Today's longs:
Love: Why it is better than Crack (telegraph)
Hedgies Teddy Bear Picnic (telegraph)
Fund of Funds: Caught in the glare of inertia (reuters)

Fintag's Logo Service © fintag

News comments:
So GAP, which sell clothes to an ageing population and does pretty well from them, is changing its brand to attract fickle, non-chino, non-tshirt, non-1990s clothes wearing young people.

I love the branding business. So I have set up my own.

I charge $500,000 consultation and $4,000,000 on completion.

You can call me Finbar "Draper" Taggit.

[source: bloomberg , gap , blogger designs ]

Lost shoe © fintag

News comments:
So where do you go next? Rates are nearly zero, the Bank of England has artificially pushed yields down by buying corporate debt and domestic asset prices (the one you all love to go on about - residential property) are starting to collapse in line with the US. (telegraph)

Next we have a Coalition who cannot spend anymore so are stopping its people spending via tax rises, encouraging illegitimacy and gagging the media by pumping it with misleading "we said this but meant this" sort of rhetoric so loved by Gordon Brown and his lost minions.

But back onto my favorite topic. Housing. A day of joy for residential prices are falling big time. Whilst many made a capital gains tax free packet through flipping and trading housing stock, the vast majority of people whose only pensionable asset is their home are seeing it fall Irish style. I don't own any assets in the UK and I have good reason not too. I told you 3 years ago to get out for the reasons that are coming to fruition. The UK is in a bad place. It is dark and the playbox has been locked.

High residential property doesn't equate to wealth. It ties up wealth. It excludes those born 10 years too late. It restricts movement of labour.

Prediction? 10% down by end of year and next 25%. Why? Mortgages hard to come by and interest rates being forced up; people needing cash (no pensions, unemployment, sudden realization that housing is a gamble) and downsizing.

Upshot? No more dull people banging on about location, smeg toilets and flock wallpaper. Here is an equation:

Dullness of a country = f(property prices)

Dead Trabant © fintag

News comments:
According to the telegraph, the Trabant speed record has been broken. I had been trying all weekend to get mine to start, but alas it toppled over and burned out.

This sudden rise and rise in communism is interesting. The Chinese form is outdoing the outdated American style capitalism. Fixed currencies, slavery, a lack of health and safety, all the things the West has rebelled against.

Perhaps we were wrong all along.

Mission Impossible © fintag

News comments:

Most traders who work for Investment Banks (and some hedge funds I guess) have unlimited upside and limited downside. Unfortunately our favourite Tom Cruise look-a-like failed on the last count and is now a Madoff type debtor. Jerome Kerviel (bloomberg) is not only to serve time in a Debtors' prison but has to pay the money back.

A tall order. Unlike Tom Cruise of course ...

Underground Malfunction © fintag

News comments:
So here is proof the UK is no longer a fit for purpose country. Having left on the nerd boat to Zug, it is amusing watching this once great country fall apart. Voted the worst place to live in Europe, children are now having tax credits ripped away and hence denied those necessary xbox games. But not to worry for the winter of discontent has started early. And the rain too. Hum bug ...

Basel 3. Yep, Switzerland has gone above and beyond (bloomberg) but alas as much as Ireland would like to join in, it looks pretty fcuked from here (telegraph).

So there I was listening to Extreme Noise Terror over the weekend and alarm bells started to ring. We are all doomed, and yet I still believe we are on about to ride the largest credit boom ever (thanks to the Chinese - I see they are buying out Greece now (euobserver)...), according to the UN (telegraph). So my alarm bells can be silenced.