Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The UK is a basket case

Foggy London

Foggy London © fintag

News comments:
The UK is a basket case and this is really sad.

[At this point you can stop looking at pictures of torn apart Japan and looking for nuclear shelters on eBay].

The population is one of the most cosmopolitan in the world so I cannot offend anyone but the UK is in a dark and cynical place. But let us look at what it has given the world:

POSITIVES
Without the UK we would all be living in caves. The UK invented pretty much everything:

Electricity, manned flight, the car, democracy, the radio, telephones, (source), the iPod, Isaac Newton, Darwin, Shakespeare, badminton, boxing, rugby, soccer, tennis, golf, darts, table tennis, polo, rock climbing, baseball (from rounders), cricket, the pencil, the christmas card, the computer, the world wide web, html, television, qwerty keyboard, SMS (so twitter), DNA, Iris recognition, most of the periodic table, diary farming, discovery of much of the world and solar system, discovery of solar energy, Valentines day cards, Stereo, shorthand, the pocket calculator, circuit boards, the first computer games (oxo), MP3 players (yep, that was us and a Brit designed the iApple products), touchpad, rolex, clocks, clothing production techniques, the spanner, steam pumps, steam trains, internal combustion engine, LED, the microchip (eat your heart out Intel), slide rule, turbines, wind tunnels, hydroelectricity, the Dyson, corkscrew, mousetrap, toaster, lawn mower, rubber band, stamps, flushing loos, dishwasher, tin can, collapsible baby buggy, fire extinguisher, light switch, teasmade, magnifying glass, stainless steel, cement, discovery of blood, tank, fighter aircraft, viagra, vitamins, anaesthesia, Gray's Anatomy, torpedoes, davy lamp, tuning fork, photography (no it wasn't the French), standard deviation, calculus, infrared, sin, cos, >, <, cat's eyes, seat belts, bicycle, street lamps, traffic lights, tarmac, hovercraft, hydrofoil, lifeboat, diving bell, sextant, carbonated soft drinks, lino, silicon, the police force, venn diagrams, scouts, the metric system (yep, it's not French), crossword puzzles, the canal, the crane, printing, logarithms, MRI body scanner, hypnotism, malaria, waterproof clothes, marmalade, linux, radar, fuel cells,

...and splitting the atom.

NEGATIVES
So what has gone so terribly wrong? All around are miserable people living in a miserable country.

Highest ever unemployment in UK (and that's after the stats have been rigged) (bbc)

World's biggest ever paedo ring smashed - and most of them are Brits (bbc)

The UK's countryside is like Maine (bbc)

Japan earthquake: UK rescue team 'foiled by red tape' (bbc)

ISA fees > tax savings (telegraph)

100m to be spent on deciding whether a saving is a cut? (independent)

The UK is a communist state (ft blog)

Bank of England is a lost cause (bloomberg)

UK to buy houses for first time buyers (bbc)

Gossip:
The UK to swap places with Japan.



2 comments:

Intrinsic said...

its always the worst before it gets better, well relatively :)

Rhessa said...

I think everyone will experience a dark period at some point in their lives...
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