If you are a newbie day trader, here is a guide to help you on your way.
If the News headlines are as follows, then buy because the markets will rise:
Angela Merkel mutters something about leadership and she loves the Euro.
French spokesperson says French Banks have so much capital they will contribute to the new euro-TARP fund.
Italian politician says it will see some good growth next year.
Dexia spokesperson says its over valued real estate book is a myth.
Bloomberg reports "Hope that debt is an illusion pushes up the Dow".
BBC hack says new bail out fund will raise 14 trillion.
If the News headlines are as follows, then sell because the markets will fall:
No-one in Europe has anything to say.
Bernanke launches Operation Rock 'n' Roll.
Obama says something.
Greek man says they have debt under control.
Sarah Palin says something that makes sense.
Euro to be renamed Peanuts.
Microsoft to bid for yahoo (oops)