Friday, June 8, 2012

It's getting grimmer

top bank © fintag

News comments:
Hope you are sleeping well. You shouldn't be. I had a dream last night, and these were the headlines on my new iPad3D:

Spain confirms 275bn bailout is required after IFRS accounting is abandoned and bank assets marked to market.

Germany abandons Euro after refusing to pay to save Spain.

UK sues the EU for allowing Finland to nationalise France.

Spanish squatters turn Brussels into world's largest.

Spain nationalises Santander and the UK branch assets are frozen and repatriated to the Spanish government.

Greece reports 12.3% GDP growth exactly 1 year after leaving the Euro; plans surplus within 3 years.

Goldman Sachs found guilty of causing the Nasdaq FB IPO meltdown.

FB is suspended from trading after Russian hackers publish all 900million passwords.

Blackberry is sold for $1 to Apple who put its patents up for sale on eBay.

Iceland, Ireland and Italy form new 3i Euro area and decline the admittance of Germany for not having rigourous fiscal control.

Mitt Romney arrested for being too dull.

Today's shorts:
China refuses to bailout Europe as its "not worth it" (telegraph)

Despite Obama revealing his new found German roots, he fails to seduce Merkel (bloomberg)

Today's longs:
Money to be abandoned for large size cola bottles (marketwatch)

Obama to stop dying his hair grey.