Friday, November 9, 2012

I am a Witch and a Money Launderer

off with his head © fintag

News comments:
Britain, once a land of tolerance is turning, as is always the case when economic times are tough, into a nation of gossipers and destroyers of reputations.

Were you a single man who went on vacation to North Wales in the 1980s? Do you own a nice classic car collection but appear not to work? Do you have an offshore bank account in Jersey?

Well I can put my hand to the last one (my collection of Sunbeam Alpines was sold a few year ago to pay some "debts"). According to the latest report in Witch Hunt News, I am a money launderer.

If you have an HSBC account in Jersey, you really are in trouble and it won't be long before the English Inquisition has you strung up and covered in tomatoes. My account is with Lloyds TSB and I guess once this is wikileaked I too will have to change my identity and run for the hills (somewhere in Oregon would be good; near a decent vineyard).

I may protest that my account was set up because I wanted a EURO account to pay my housekeeper and the French government some taxes regarding my Antibes house. But it will fall on deaf Twitter ears. I had no choice in the matter. You see the main UK banks have all their offshore banking centres in Jersey. But these days excuses mean nothing.

So long. It's been fun ...

Today's shorts:
Innocent man accused of crimes (guardian)

HSBC account holders to be shot at dawn (sky)

Man serves PM his P45 (sky)

UK JP Morgan staff to be whipped and gagged (sky)

Today's longs:
UK accidentally starts to recover (reuters)

ITV to replace rolling news with a Twitter feed.


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