Friday, March 15, 2013

JP Morgan's Value Of @ Covering

hats off© fintag

News comments:
JP Morgan has been exposed as having over 5,000 Global Heads of Globalness. I just made that up. Its probably a bit more.

Interesting to see Investment Banking politics being laid bare with JP Morgan's testimony of its internal handling of the London Whale. If things go wrong you can blame overinflated valuations and flawed models. Oops, that's what Ina Drew (net worth excess of USD15m) also said when the London Whale beached up on Dimon's desk.

Of course we all know the Value At Risk is flawed which is why bankers love using it. Its easy to fix and risky crap can be be made to look like a 99% triple AAA safe bet. As Reuters blogged, spotty 27 year olds know that tweaking V@R equals fat bonuses.

And that is the same ruse Drew and her internal hedge fund interns were relying on - a V@R that was flawed so that they could trade like bandits without red alerts flashing across a dozy RM's inbox.

Not that JP Morgan knows who runs what and who is responsible for what (sounds like the BBC) and what the meaning of life is, but she and her team were doing what every other banker is trying to right now and will in the future which is pretending they know what is going on, managing low risk with high reward and making sure risk is off loaded onto IT, Compliance or Middle Office.

Same old same old. Despite V@R being discredited and useless, the banks are still using it as their primary risk number.

Today's shorts:
JP Morgan blames door man for its losses. (bloomberg)

Useless Bank of Switzerland gives capped bonuses the finger (guardian)

Today's longs:
11 sessions of froth (huff)

Gossip:
Erin "Demi Moore" Callen to launch new book exposing Lehmans incompetence (fintag's lawyers having removed any mention of a sexual liaison) and spill the beans on CNN.



1 comments:

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