Saturday, July 13, 2013

As rich as an Argentine

bitcoin © fintag

News comments:
Just hoarding #bitcoins, so will be back when I am ready to launch an ETF.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Banks: What are they good for?

JP Morgan © fintag

News comments:
When you get too much regulation, unforeseen consequences happen.

The banks are slowly being strangled and those who are left are squeezing out as much as they can before the banks end up not doing anything at all except sit on legacy IT systems and store unwanted bloomberg terminals. Having followed the digital currency rise of bitcoins and the US trying to hound out the exchanges and scare users into believing they are money launderers (wired), in the real world we have hedge funds now becoming banks.

Hedgies are all about risk management and having ripped apart the world of insurance, its now over to 2% a month please loan notes. Not only are they faster and better than they banks, they actually do lend out. No wonder Highbridge just raised USD3 billion to lend out. A clever way for JP Morgan to gain fees that have nothing to do with lending. You have to applaud them. (wsj)

Today's shorts:
Fintag random punt strategy (fintag)

Regulators want banks to hold more capital (bloomberg)

Today's longs:
Swiss help fund UK debt (reuters)

JP Morgan and other too big banks to fail to be bailed out by hedge funds next time round.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Monkey Portfolio Random 10 UK

monkey© google

News comments:
How to make 2% in a week by randomly selecting some UK stocks.

The equity markets are booming and you don't need to be a C# jockey to make money. No need to short or hedge. Enjoy the boom and trade because it will be over later this year.

As noted in my last post, my excel spreadsheet has randomly (ok with a small amount of bias and weighting and manual over ride) pumped out 10 UK listed stocks. I will buy GBP100,000 of each on the close price today (24 May 2013) and sell on the close next Friday and be at least GBP20,000 better off (and that's with a bank holiday too!). If this works out I will select some US stocks the week after (saves me having to use my brain with another outrageously witty blog post that will feature as another Bloomberg / FT headline) and demonstrate that you only need to click a few buttons and spend the rest of the week lying in bed.

So here goes ...


Goldman to replace its OEMs (overpaid equity morons) [Ed: Steady] with UEMs (underpaid equity monkeys).

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Apple won't be in my random top 10

apple inc © fintag

News comments:
As has been on the cards for years, corporates are the new governments.

I am not a fan of high polluting Apple (fintag) but Tim Cook's performance yesterday (bbc) was stellar. His middle finger to the US government's high corporate rates of tax showed the hypocrisy of other governments who bang on about tax evasion when what they really want is the spread to be much smaller between countries. All this "fair share of tax" nonsense; nobody wants to answer the simple question:

How much tax is fair?

Personally I think 0% is a fair number because on the whole people spend better than governments but that is a political and moral issue. In the end the rules and laws govern what the tax should be and unless some global body with nuclear weapons bullies countries like Ireland and Cayman into collecting more tax then the tax issue will never be solved. If there is a problem at all. What if Ireland collected 35% tax, the US would still be in the same position except their favorite stock that makes up most of their pensions would be worth 35% less. Cake. Have. Eat.

If I were Apple I would buy an island like the Caymans and then put its corporate tax rate up to 50% (with rebates of 50% to those who are already there) and then nobody could complain. Apple could then legitimately complain to the rest of the world that they are tax havens and the US et al exist only to help tax evaders and avoiders.

The reality is ultra aggressive tax evasion should be encouraged as it will help those who govern draft better legislation. This is all a sideshow to cover up the fact Governments are so badly managed.

But this is dull. What isn't dull are the equities markets. To show you how easy it is to make money I will put my balls on the line and pick 10 stocks and buy them at the open price on Monday and sell on the close on Friday. My hurdle will be 2%. That is 2% in a week.

I won't fail. The stocks selected at random will be US and European stocks including some ETFs. My excel random number generator is ready to go.

Today's shorts:
Xbox revealed to pay no tax (bloomberg)

Today's longs:
Japan will be one of my randon 10 (bbc)

Trading is a mugs game.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Les bons moments sont de retour

asterix parc
© fintag

News comments:
When there is madness in the air, it is time to make a killing.

We may all complain that this free liquidity environment is stoking up the mother of all crashes (fintag gets it wrong) but if you haven't joined the party it is time to load up and splurge on alpha.

Take that van for hire business, Ocado. You know my views but we are here to make money so hats off to those Goldmanites who just never gave up and have made my day (bloomberg - 50% gain). Best to follow the Goldman rule of trading - bitch and buy or smile and short. You know what I mean.

Take France. The man at the helm is a 1950's Harold Wilson without the charisma and his country is dying in a cess pool of misery. And yet it is the place to live (which is why I spend much time here too spending my bitcoins on the lonely women of Cannes [Ed: Surely not?]). You see France is a bit like Ocado was yesterday (foothillsoffrance) for tomorrow it will be a big boom country. Trust me, it will. When a hedgie says the country is on the verge of anarchy (telegraph) it's time to buy (especially if you loved Asterix as a child).

In the meantime, throw your darts at a list of tickers and take your pick (although skew away from oil if you can) and with your profits you too could snap up a castle ....

Today's shorts:
You tell me ...

Today's longs:
Anything but government debt

Hedge funds to abandon shorting.